IELTS Writing Task 2
Should police officers be recruited from the communities where they work?
Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so.
- Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.
How to answer this essay?
- Paraphrase the overall essay main topic.
- Write a clear opinion.
- 1st Body Paragraph
- Write a topic sentence with a clear main idea.
- Explain your main idea.
- Develop it with specific or hypothetical examples.
- 2nd Body Paragraph
- Write a new topic sentence with a new main idea.
- Explain your new main idea.
- Include specific details and examples.
- Add as much information as you can and make sure it links logically.
- Summarise your main ideas.
- Include a final thought.
Model Answer | Marked as Band 8
Cohesive connecting words that improve coherence in writing . Useful less common words that boost fluency in writing .
- Employers are always seeking ways to enhance their employees’ productivity, and subsidising healthy pursuits may be one way of achieving this. There are arguments on both sides, however, which we will discuss here.
- On the one hand, it might be said that if workers are fitter and less stressed, their working time will be more efficient, leading to higher levels of output and service. Furthermore, the work/life balance of the staff will hopefully be improved, because their leisure time will be more fulfilling. This may even be more motivating than pay increments, perks, or financial rewards such as bonuses or incentives which may be hard to attain. Finally, feeling healthier may lead to better job satisfaction which is in itself a motivating factor.
- Conversely, the problem with such leisure-based subsidies is that their efficacy is virtually impossible to quantify. For example, with target-related payments, employers can at least see whether the objectives are reached or not. It might also be said that, if this budget was spent on (for instance) on the job training or day release programmes, the employees would achieve better career progression and have better job prospects. These matters are all easier to measure, especially in performance reviews and appraisals, and may even help to reduce the risk of redundancy if the company restructures, downsizes or outsources its workforce.
- Overall, it seems that, while health-related subsidies are superficially attractive, the lack of measurability is a substantial drawback. Spending funds on ongoing training would appear to be a better use of company or Human Resources budgets.